I'm not perfect. Okay, I got it.

So there I said. I'm not perfect in being a good girl for a good boy.

25 minutes earlier I've done browsing/stalking my friend's wedding day's pictures. And I was like "eh...sweet nyer!! Suke2! Bler la leh jmpe boy mcm ni plak." . She (dentist-to-be) married to a doc-to-be. Both are pious and have crystal-clear faces. As my mind floating around thinking/dreaming about my dream boy, something popped my dreaming balloon. Hurt by the act, I stuttered. I kept my eyes linger around me. Right here, right now, I'm listening to Rihanna's songs, lazying on my bed, Facebook-ing like tomorrow Mark Zuckerberg will close down his company and a little attention to when my homework will be done. My mind said, can I be like her? Am I qualified enough to be 'marketed' to pious man as a wife? CAN I? Well, as Allah said in Al-Quran (An-Nur 24:26) :

Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women), such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Karim (generous provision i.e.Paradise).

I've heard this verse years ago. But all I did is just heard it and it is faded away just like a wind. Nothing I did to 'renovate' myself to a better person. I calculated the probability of pious men wanting not-so-pious women as wives; low and nearly none, maybe. It is not well-proven but I think it's true. Yeah, they need wives who make them less-sinned in hereafter. What I meant here is, if a good woman married a good man, then the responsibility for that man to guide the woman is small since the woman does know how to control herself from committing any mungkar@sinful acts. That's what I thought. What about yours?

"Owh, that's bullshit, Faqihah!", some might said. So, what is your stand? A good girl gonna get good boy and vice versa? Or it will go naturally like these days? Like, SOMETIMES, a good girl will get not-so-good boy?

So, here I am. Still listening to songs that totally be hated by them, by the good guys. Frustration got me off-guard. Ahh...how am I supposed to do? Ottoke....